http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/foot...st/6744827.stm

I was gonna go watch them a bit next year, but from my time in Scotland I never grew to hate any player more than this guy.

Ah well, he should retire soon.

Originally Posted by WotaWaster

As Someone who was born in Nottingham and whose Dad was a Forest fan I can say that saying NOTTS Forest is a surefire way to piss off half of the people you meet in the city.

lol, it was a sly dig at Forest for signing one of "them".

one of US, my blue blooded friend, one of US

non-racist/sectarian moment.....

***a Celtic fan was questioned by the cops about knocking down a Rangers fan who was out walking one night.
the cops asked him what happened and of course he told them it was a tragic accident.

when he was asked how the leaves and branches happened to be stuck on the bumper of the car, the Celtic fan could only reply: "Well, he tried to hide in the forest".


***How many huns does it take to tile a roof?

depends on how thinly u slice them.



***Whats the difference between a Rangers fan and a bucket of shit?

the bucket



***What do u call a double decker bus with ten rangers fan driving over a cliff?

a waste of space. you could fit loads more in.



***Before the world cup, a primary school teacher asks her pupils if they want to see England win it. The full class put their hands up except for one girl who says she wants Sweden, Argentina or Nigeria to win. Amazed the teacher asks why, "Well miss my mum and dad are Scottish so I'm a Scottish fan too." So the teacher replys "You don't have to be a Scotland fan because you're parents are, if your mum was a prostitute and dad was a junkie that stole and beat up innocent people you wouldn't be like that"
"No miss" the girl says "that would make me a Rangers fan".


and finally.....


***How many Rangers fans does it take to change a light bulb?

A: It doesn't matter, they're all condemned to eternal darkness anyway.



Enjoy

Well Dee, you have really laid down the gauntlet so to speak but I'll try my best.

***
Q. An intelligent Rangers fan, intelligent Celtic fan and Santa Claus are walking down the street when they find a £10 note, who picks it up?
A. The Rangers fan because the other two don't exist.
***
A Rangers fan is involved in a high speed car crash with one other car. Both cars are totally wrecked and it is a miracle anyone survived, but both drivers are able to walk from the wreckage. To his surprise, the Rangers fan sees that the other driver is in a Celtic kit. They start talking and truly believe this is an act of god, forcing peace between the two warring teams.

The Rangers fan sees that his bottle of whisky that was in the car has also survived intact, upon seeing this he proposes a toast as truly this was an act of god aswell. He hands the bottle to the Celtic fan who opens it up and takes a huge gulp.

"That's much better" he says, passing it back to the Rangers fan, who puts his hands up and says "nah, none for me".

Celtic fan: "Why not?"
Rangers fan: "I'll just wait for the police".
***
Q: If you see a Celtic fan on a bicycle, why should you never swerve and hit him?
A: You don't want to damage your bike, do you?
***
It's with great sadness that I report Celtic Park was broken into last night. The entire contents of the trophy room were stolen. Strathclyde police are believed to be looking for a man with a green carpet.
***
Kenny Miller's wife wanted him locked up - she had had enough of the eejit.
So she went to the police and told them: "Please Help, my husband has been hitting me."
The Police gave sound advice: "Ma'm, don't worry. Just carry a goalpost in each hand - I guarantee he'll never hit you."
***
Q: How do you get a one armed Celtic fan down from a tree?
A: Wave at him...

Originally Posted by davidab157

It's with great sadness that I report Celtic Park was broken into last night. The entire contents of the trophy room were stolen. Strathclyde police are believed to be looking for a man with a green carpet.

i must admit this one is fairly funny.

not for the obvious reason tho