After taking a tilt break, I returned to the same table and switched it up with a little slowplay. Boy, did that maximize. Sorry if I'm incomprehensible, but I'm bent over and my mouth is full.
Ultimate Bet 30/60 Hold'em (5 handed)
Hand History Converter Tool from
FlopTurnRiver.com (Format: FlopTurnRiver)
Preflop: ChiTown Alex is BB with A

, K

.
UTG raises,
3 folds, ChiTown Alex calls.
Flop: (4.50 SB) K

, 8

, 4
(2 players)
ChiTown Alex checks,
UTG bets, ChiTown Alex calls.
Turn: (3.25 BB) 7
(2 players)
ChiTown Alex checks,
UTG bets,
ChiTown Alex raises,
UTG 3-bets, ChiTown Alex calls.
River: (9.25 BB) 9
(2 players)
ChiTown Alex checks,
UTG bets,
ChiTown Alex raises,
UTG 3-bets,
ChiTown Alex caps, UTG calls.
Final Pot: 17.25 BB
Results below:
ChiTown Alex has Ah Kh (flush, ace high).
UTG doesn't show.
Outcome: ChiTown Alex wins 17.25 BB.