Made it past the bubble 4 times in the past 2 days and 3 of those time I shoved and got called by the chip leader with an inferior hand and got knocked out.

The other time I just shoved on the BB with 3 BB's left in my stack.

Haven't been relying on luck to get the bubble either. Avoiding unnecessary confrontations or shoving my stack pre flop.

The end result is when I do make the bubble I'm generally only sitting on an average sized stack.

My biggest risk is is generally steaing a few blinds with K10 QJ J10 suited or A maybe A rag or KQo to prevent bleeding chips.

So then when I get my big pockets or AKs and shove seeing finally my chance to double I suckout.

It's been a long while since I have doubled up late and been able to start eyeing the final table

I don't do well on 6 handed tables. Play too tight to stay ahead of the blinds.

My strength is 50/50 game where I finish ITM more often than not. The payoffs from these is what keeps me from having to recharge my bank.

50/50 also has far fewer maniacs and consequently far fewer suckouts and very rarely a bad beat like the 2 I've worn in MTT's over the past 2 days.

I also remember how difficult it was to win my first MTT. No mistakes or at least cheap ones. Seems its also a prerequisite to suckout at least once or twice as well as have your own monsters hold up.

I can still vividly see that mistake I made in the $5.50 4000+ player MTT where I chased that royal flush draw to the river. When I see others do it now I think GL to them no doubt they'll be handing them back shortly.

I've folded KK and AQs pre flop lately running scared.

Only time I feel really comfortable betting into a pot ATM is TPTK.

My gut is saying fold against big chip stacks now - as I see no point raising 2 or 3BB followed by a c-bet if I'm down to 10BB's.

I used to get excited about shoving a monster pre flop into a huge stack or a short stack because I figured I was in with a good shot of getting called by an inferior hand.

AQ be careful, but KK you should play hard. It is the second best hand to have and think of this: How many times are my opponents gonna have AA? Like once every 220 hands. KK-JJ is dealt once every 72.7 hands. So, in my head, he is more likely, mathmaticlly, to have something like AK, AQ, KQ, TT etc. AA is hard to get, mathmaticlly, so you probably have him dominated.

What do you think Narg? Am I mad?

Thats all well and good but how do you get past sucking out repeatedly to the point your feeling physically ill.

Just givr it away until you feel "good" again

That's all well and good but how do you keep that at the forefront of you mind when you're sucking out so much you're feeling Ill and can't look at the table when you shove?

My ranking on the officialpokerranking site is still creeping up and my ITM has also risen and I'm not having to reload so I guess I shouldn't stress too much and just brush it off and say "that's poker" and feel good about my game in general