Ok, My mom died about a month ago. I cashed out s significant portion of my BR to finance my trip to FL to go to the funural and spend some time with my brother. I left enough in there to be BRed for .25/1 LHE comfortably (about $200) or to play the PLO SnGs that I had started to win on a regular basis.

My problem is that since I've come back, I've found it difficult to get back into the poker state of mind. I used to play regularly because I wanted to. The several times I've played since it's more because I feel like I ought to, not because I have the drive anymore.

When I sit down to play I'm still a winning player, but I haven't even been reading the forums like I used to. I'm not spending as much time at my computer like I used to in general. The 2 weeks I spent in FL I didn't have access to the internet or a computer. I have spent more time on my couch then I used to. I have spent a little more time with my wife and kids but even in my free time when they are asleep or not home I'm still not reaching for my poker sites, I'm reaching for the remote.

Is something that has happened to others, I'm not so much worried about my lack of desire to play as much as I'm worried that a fundemental change in my personality may have taken place and this may be a "warning" sign. I used to truely enjoy playing, reading and thinking about poker, now I barely even think about it other then to wonder why I don't play anymore. I also don't seem to have replaced it (as a hobby) with anything else and this is starting to bother me and make me wonder if there is something else going on that I need to be aware of.

I will say that while my relationship with my Mom was very important to me, she didn't teach me to play poker, she didn't play poker with me, nor did we talk about poker other for me to give her regular updates on how I was doing. I don't think there is a mental connection between my mom and poker that would cause this shift in my attitude towards poker...any insight would be appreciated.

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Trons
JstTrons
Toyotatruck

Sorry to hear about your loss Trons, I lost someone close to me recently as well and I spent a few weeks off the poker. It was the first time I'd lost someone in my direct family (my grandad) and was the first time that I'd grieved. I suppose everyone handles it i their own way, but grieving doesn't neccessarily end after the funeral.

Obviously I'm no expert, but I wouldn't try and put too much pressure on yourself to get back into Poker. You are no doubt still grieving and just need to get over it in your own way. When my grandad died I started to evaluate life, family, work things like that. Poker took a backseat and I didn't miss it at all. I just wanted to spend a bit of time with my family and get my head straight.

You sound like that sort of person that has his head screwed on and you will come out of this. I think the only advice I can really give is take your time and don't pressure yourself. Your desire to play poker (and do other things) will return.

Really sorry about you mom bro.

I take time away from poker all the time. Usually after a big winning run I take a break. It used to be I would win $100 then piss back $60 of it, win $200 blow $100. I seem to avoid that now by taking breaks when I feel I have hit a up tick.

I play video games, read, rent shows from netflix.


Go check out the Harlan Coben novel "Deal Breaker" in paper back.

Sorry to hear about your mother Trons.

Like you mentioned it might not be just poker itself right now. I'm far from an expert on this, however people deal with losing family members in different ways and the time it takes afterwards can vary. You mentioned a lack of overall drive for doing any hobbies right now, not just poker.. so it might still be a grieving period for you.

As far as playing, I don't think most of us on (with a few exceptions) here play because we have to. So again it all depends on you, if you don't have the desire to play why force it? A month might not be long enough for you, given your situation.

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If you're looking to borrow money or have someone give you money in order to play poker online please don't contact me... Click Here for help , and explain your situation.

Condolences, man.

I've never lost anyone close so I'm not sure how valuable my advice is, but I would say if you're heart isn't in it then take a break. If, on the other hand, it takes your mind off things then maybe it would be theraputic.

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I'm CDO. It's like OCD, but everying is in order just like it should be.

Sorry for your loss. I've never had a really close family member die, so I can't claim to really understand what you're going through.

I can say that it's perfectly natural for something like this to affect you, and you may not fully understand how it's affecting you.

Don't let anyone convince you there's something wrong with you for this! If it weren't affecting your life, then maybe you should worry!

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... can't sleep, blinds will eat me ...

Sorry to hear about your Mom . . .

I've lost several people who were close to me, and it's changed my life every time.

I'd highly recommend counseling. I know a lot of people have hangups about it . . . but I just made a decision I had to do something to process all the emotion.

It helped me a lot.

As for the sitting around watching TV, I think it's very easy to get into that funk when you lose someone. Apart from the counseling (which I think would help a lot), I'd recommend doing something like joining a gym and working out with a personal trainer once a week (PT appoinments are great for providing motivation). Physical activity might help you begin to break out of your funk.

Take care Trons. . . .

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Jason75: Ok, you check and the button bets 400. Now what?
Beavis68: You play poker.
Jason75: Darn, I was really hoping for canasta. Maybe Gin.

go for walks with your family.

very sorry for your loss trons

ive had someone very close to me pass on and although i didnt realise it at the time, my world basically stopped on me.....i had no interest in doing anything that i used to do or hang out with people that i used to hang with.

my solution was that i had to do something rather than lie on the couch all night every night so i decided to join the local gym......it gave me something to do every evening and also got me "alone time"

i also met someone who i got very friendly with and who i would sit and chat bout stupid things with......this developed into me breaking down one evening and basically opening my heart......this helped me so much that i couldnt describe my relief here in words.

it isnt easy for a while but eventually the world starts making sense again and as for poker, leave it a while and come back when u see fit

Condolences.

Basically, it sounds like you are clinically depressed. Go figure, your Mom just died. I think this is a normal step in the grieving process. Give it time. Don't force anything. So you've lost interest in studying the game. But you haven't lost interest in playing. So keep playing. Do what makes you feel good. Eventually you will come around to whatever you need to do.

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