Originally Posted by Crundy

I grew up in Norwich but escaped a couple of years ago. There's a road out of Norfolk, you know! No-one ever told me.

Yeah i know the road. It's called the A140...speaking of jokes.

Three poker-players were sitting at the bar in the casino.
“I should know that I drink since I’m happy.
The second said:
“I drink since I am unhappy.”
And the third said:
“And I drink since the morning.”


„Homes, you astound me! How did you know that that guy on the “button” plays loose aggressive on 12 tables?”


An inveterate drunkard said:
„When I get drunk I cannot play, because I only see straights and flushes. I really should stop it!”
„Stop what, playing?”
„No - drinking !!”



Some kids were playing at the playground. One of them, a boy, said:
„When I grow up, I will become a mobster and I will buy a Maybach 57 S like that one.”
Another boy also said:
„And I will become a lawyer and buy a Porsche Carrera GT like that one!”
Finally, a little girl said:
„And I will learn to play cards just like my big brother, who owns both of those cars.”

My Poker Jokes
This is the world's largest (and hopefully funniest) poker jokes and stories collection

The village policemen was on his beat when hemet Old Joe, the village idiot. Joe was dragging a brick on the end of a lead.
"HelloJoe" said the policeman "that's a nice dog you've got there."
"Don't besilly" replied Joe. "That's not a dog, it's a brick".
"Right youare" said the policeman and went on his way.
Joe turns to thebrick and whispers "Fooled him there, didn't we Rover?">>
> >

A dumb blonde was standing in front of a soda machine outside of a local store. After putting in sixty cents, a root beer pops out of the machine. She set it on the ground, puts sixty more cents into the machine, and pushes another button; suddenly, a coke comes out the machine! She continued to do this until a man waiting to use the machine became impatient. "Excuse me, can I get my soda and then you can go back to whatever stupid thing you are doing?"
The blonde turns around and says, "Yeah right! I'm not giving up this machine while I'm still winning!"


source: UK online slots site

A man comes home…from his weekly poker game late. His annoying wife is waiting for him. “Where the heck have you been?”

“Sorry, but I lost you in a poker game. You’ll have to leave.”

“How did you manage that, you fool?”

“It wasn’t easy. I had to fold a royal flush.”

from: Mobile Casino No Deposit Bonus

))

Some scientists decided to do the following experiments on a dog.

For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog's legs off, then they told the dog to walk. The dog got up and walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs.

For the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then they told the dog once more to walk. The dog was still able to walk with only two legs.

For the third experiment, they cut off yet another leg from the dog and once more they told the dog to walk. However, the dog wasn't able to walk with only one leg.

As a result of these three experiments, the scientists wrote in their final report that the dog had lost it's hearing after having three legs cut off.