Voted best joke ever

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend might be dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's really dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

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If you feel you have a question, dont be lazy; make sure you have asked yourself first. Then search the forum, then just fucking google it to get as much detail as you can. You may then seek clarification on specific points from others.

Another one that I always chuckle at (perhpas we can figure out how to change the golf game to a poker game?)

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows his head in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well... we were married 35 years.”

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If you feel you have a question, dont be lazy; make sure you have asked yourself first. Then search the forum, then just fucking google it to get as much detail as you can. You may then seek clarification on specific points from others.

An old man walks into his local doctors clinic and goes to the receptionist to ask to see a doctor.

Receptionist: And for what reason do u want to see the doctor?

Old Man: Theres something wrong with my penis

Receptionist: Sir, you cant say that here. There are young people in the waiting room who can hear you. All you had to say was that you had a sore ear or something like that. Go outside and come back in and try it again.

The old man goes outside and comes back into the reception area.

Old Man: Id like to see the doctor

Receptionist: And for what reason do u want to see the doctor?

Old Man: Theres something wrong with my ear

Receptionist: Thats better sir. And what seems to be the problem with ur ear?

Old Man: It hurts when i take a piss

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A farmer has successfully grown a field of dildos, however he is having problems with squatters.

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KidPoker23 is good at poker....

wat? i laughed

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson goes on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes," replies Watson.

"And what do you deduce from that?"

Watson ponders for a minute.

"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.

"Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson... you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"

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If you feel you have a question, dont be lazy; make sure you have asked yourself first. Then search the forum, then just fucking google it to get as much detail as you can. You may then seek clarification on specific points from others.

How do you make a cat go "woof"?

Soak it in petrol and light a match.

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where are you getting these from, they're hilarious

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most likely with his IQ he made them himself

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funniest thing so far

/thread imo

__________________
For the best rakeback rates, greatest choice of poker rooms, more promotions, tournaments and bigger $$$ freerolls than any other rakeback affiliate, visit RakeTheRake, one of the largest and most reputable poker rakeback affiliates in the world.

Get constant bonuses and superb customer support at RedKings. (Non-US only){its rigged for me but prob not u}