Keep in mind that most of these comments are coming from kids. the only other adult I know who has responded is Kre8tor.

Well Dee is an adult to, but if you look at his comments about his missus you'll see why you should ignore his advice

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Thank you all for your insights. I'm just soo incredibly confused right now. My undergrad degree is something that is going to hang on to me for the rest of my life. I don't want to lose out on any great opportunities. UVA and ODU are on totally different spectrums. Most students would never think twice about not goign to UVA. But I am not like most students, I have already started a life with someone I love. He's putting 20 years in the military so I can pursue a degree and get a great job without worrying about supporting myself. But isn't he being selfish for wanting me to stay in the Hampton Roads area? (Virginia Beach, Norfolk, etc...) He even told me that he was hoping that I wouldn't get accepted.

He's not the only adult to post, but I don't know if she should take any advice from me (divorced at 26, but in my defense, she ended up being a bitch).

I don't think it is overly selfish for him to want to have his wife around, at least he is coming right out and saying what he wants. Better this then for him to act as though he is fully behind you but resent you behind your back.

That being said, if it is truly what you want, then regrets can fester and ruin a marriage more drastically and completely than just time apart can.

I think you already really know what you want to do, and are just hoping for some consensus. The best thing you can do is have a fully honest discussion with your husband.

One of the key wedges in my former marriage was a lack of honesty about our own desires/dreams/aspirations. Assuming your partner should just know what you really want without laying it out for them to see is a recipe for disappointment and disdain when they are unable to read your mind.

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I say flip a coin... heads UVA... tails ODU...








note:
if it comes up a result you don't want.... do best out of three.

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ohh snap. I just reread your post and it says you are married.

Uhh, I would def stay close to your husband. Especially if he is as young as you. Going away would really fuck up your relationship. If he is like 30 or 40, then the relationship is already fucked up, so feel free to go to the college.

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caution:
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it sounds like its gonna be a major problem whatever you decide to do.

you badly want to go, he badly wants you to stay, theres no middle ground on this one and it even seems like a good old fashioned heart to heart wont clear it up as both viewpoints seem to be miles apart.

fair enough that he obviously wants u to stay close to him but in all honesty for him to say, let alone think, that he wanted u to be rejected from ur dream college makes me think he has bigger issues....but this isnt about me diagnosing anything so ill leave it at that.

its a tough spot ur in and no advice from here will make it easier on u....hopefully u can both come to an adult agreement that wont leave either of u bitter at the other.


and steve, i love everything bout my gf.......especially her long working hours

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Getting a good education and a job afterwards will lead to a better life for you and your future kids, i say go to school. If it was cross country it might be different but 3.5 hours is not that bad, you can go stay with him on weekends or he can come by on weekends, I think that if he really loves you and realizes how much this means to you then he would be behind you 100%.



But what do I know, I'm 17.

Considering that you are a military wife spending long periods of time apart should be something you are starting to get used to. I have friends that have been in Iraq for a year and stayed with their gfs through the whole affair. My brother in law is in the Marines and him and my sister have been able to deal with the long distance marriage thing also. Being 3 1/2 hours apart is really not that bad and it is only for 2 years. You can still see each other on the weekends. Due to my job there are times I spend a full week on the road and don't see my wife and kids. Nobody says that it will be easy or fun but life is hard and some times you have to whats hard to make life easier later on.

I agree with Wastrel that you guys really need to discuss this. Marriage is about compromise and if this is your dream you need to fight for it. If you kill your dreams your life will be an empty shell.

Sometimes Gder...I think you have the right answer to everything......

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Thank you once again for all of your replies! I still have no idea what to do. Considering that he is on a ship right now in the middle of nowhere, it's kind of hard to get a hold of him to talk about it. I would think, like mentioned above, that considering that we have beared 2 years of our 4 years away already, that we could handle it. But it has always been him going whereas I stay and wait for him. The situation is a little different, and I don't know how he will or if he can handle it. Considering he's only 3 years older than me, and we are still considerably young, something like this could totally ruin a wonderful thing. I still have until mid-May to figure this out, and hopefully a trip to Charlottesville will help ease our decision. Thanks everyone! I'll keep you all updated!