10. Big red floppy boots only partially hide electronic tracking-bracelet on ankle

9. His big "Fun-Time Happy-Land Activity" at children's parties is a game he calls "Wash My Dirty Feet"

8. His "clown make-up" just looks suspiciously like White-Supremacist prison tattoos

7. Says he can't bring his famous puppets, as they're currently being examined by the police for hair and fiber evidence

6. An hour of his "show" consists of him reading the racing forms

5. While making balloon animals, repeatedly makes inappropriate
references to "the so-called Holocaust"

4. Says that Pin the Tail on the Donkey is no longer part of his act, "just to conform with the court order"

3. Every time you leave the room, you hear him trying to sell your children some "sweet" Utah real estate

2. Says he'd prefer to be paid in cash, and/or "crack"

... and the number one sign to not trust a clown...

1. Goes by the alias "RuClown"

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