Understand exactly what you mean. I have the same problem. Gambling is a habit noone should get into. Its very unlike sports, where you play it for fun with your buddies - have a good time. Baseball you play 9 hard innings, if you win you're happy as ever, if you lose you're upset but you say damn I had a good ass time tho. Poker takes control of you, and even when its not fun you still play it. Problem is you CANT quit. No matter how much in debt, or how much you have won. When you lose, you play til you win. And even when you win, you just wanna win more. I think having the courage to shut your accounts down will be a great step, and within a month, maybe even a week you'll feel better about yourself. Life is so much less stressful. And its different from you just quitting. If they ban your account, it pushes you that much closer. You'll be better off man, Im thinking of doing the same thing. Poker is a big waste of time, and its shameful to even tell friends about it. Its different if you say you play poker for fun, but for 100s of dollars people think you're some bum who cant earn your own salary. Well gl in your endeavors buddy.